Church and the Devil

I was sitting in a big cathedral style church today thinking about pride and the Devil and goodness and how it all fits together. There is this unusual thing I sometimes experience where I feel extreme pride in something. An unreasonable amount. You might even describe it as smugness. Invariably, I am immediately humbled. If I'm riding a bicycle and feeling smug about how well I'm navigating the crowds, I'll hit a bump and fall or run into someone. If I feel overly self-satisfied with some statement I've just made publicly, It will immediately be shown to be utterly wrong. Every single time its this very similar feeling that I only seem to recognize in retrospect. It's almost like I can predict the very near future. The catch is, I'm often so caught up in the pride that I don't make any use of my purported knowledge of the future. Instead I feel smug and then often very embarrassed. On rare occasion, I catch it and it goes the other way (I hold my tongue or watch out for potholes or whatever). The overarching problem here is that in the heat of the moment, I not only feel confident that I'm on the right course but overconfident. It's this seductive feeling that's hard to resist, let alone question and countermand.

Now getting back to Church. The priest today was talking about Satan entering Judas's heart to make him betray the Lord after the last supper. I've always been skeptical about the existence of an actual being that is evil. I think the idea of the devil is a useful construct but a horned red beast that sits on a throne in the fires of hell just seems a bit to poetic to be true. But in the midst of my ruminations on misplaced pride I've definitely begun to wonder. It's just so seductive and exciting and compelling at the outset and so utterly fruitless in the end. Seems just like the stories about what it's like to serve the Devil.

Worth Fighting For

Prior to joining the Army, I used to say I was a pacifist. Actions under duress proved those statements false quite quickly. That said, I've always been hesitant to harm another. I just don't like it. Even the events on 9/11 didn't really get me killing mad. I was thinking about it today though, and if someone were to bomb the Taj Mahal, I'd go back into the army and rejoin the war on terror in earnest. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me either but for some reason that would get me fighting mad.

A little about me..

I like thunderstorms and counting the time from lightning and the pitter patter of rain on flat roofs. I want to be the hero of the story. I love Scharffen Berger chocolate, esp. with dark, black gourmet coffee. I dream of a time when copper pots hang above an island viking range in a beautiful kitchen reminiscent of the one on Tortilla Soup. I thrive on the witty comments of others and am desperately in love with the sarcastic wit of John Stewart and Stephen Colbert. And I wouldn't mind if an earthquake caused Boston to fall into the sea..

Understanding Fat People

ok ok, I finally get it. I'm working at this job for the summer where I sit at a desk for between 14 and 18 hours a day modeling in excel among other things. I've noticed that my pants fit a little tighter than usual. I still go running four times a week, what gives? Today I was really frustrated with this amazingly shitty model the guy I'm working with sent over. I unconsciously reached for the snack drawer I keep in my desk. I wasn't the slightest bit hungry but some how chocolate seemed like it might assuage the vaguely homicidal sentiments I'd begun to harbor for my counterpart who doesn't seem to grasp the elegance of dynamic allocation. Holy fuck! I'm eating junk food to comfort myself. Not only is my work day longer but I'm gonna be fat. Awesome. sometimes I wish california would be a good little tectonic plate and fall into the fucking ocean...

Back in the game!!!

so obviously a lot has changed. I'm in the thick of it at HBS now. everything's been turned on its head. I study a lot now but lets be honest folks, business school is about networking. That means drinking. And for those of you who don't know me, I drink the same way I do everything else...

I just returned from this shit-ass club in downtown boston called The Liquor Store. There is a mechanical bull and a lot of broken dreams. I at various times throughout the evening could be found drinking my signature drink(jwb), dancing poorly, and pole dancing(adroitly). This night can only be termed a success.

Mare Winningham

So I was listening to NPR yesterday and on soundcheck they did an interview with mare winningham(had a bit part on Grey's Anatomy as Meridith's dad's new wife). Turns out that she's also a singer/songwriter. She does bluegrass country with jewish themes. Kind of odd at first glance but it somehow works. below is the video for In The Valley of the Dry Bones. It is both haunting and stunningly beautiful.

google maps street view

holy jesus this is cool...go to google maps and zoom all the way in somewhere and then click on street view in the place where it gives you the option for sattelite or map view. then click on the street and prepare to be amazed. I love you google...