Understanding Fat People

ok ok, I finally get it. I'm working at this job for the summer where I sit at a desk for between 14 and 18 hours a day modeling in excel among other things. I've noticed that my pants fit a little tighter than usual. I still go running four times a week, what gives? Today I was really frustrated with this amazingly shitty model the guy I'm working with sent over. I unconsciously reached for the snack drawer I keep in my desk. I wasn't the slightest bit hungry but some how chocolate seemed like it might assuage the vaguely homicidal sentiments I'd begun to harbor for my counterpart who doesn't seem to grasp the elegance of dynamic allocation. Holy fuck! I'm eating junk food to comfort myself. Not only is my work day longer but I'm gonna be fat. Awesome. sometimes I wish california would be a good little tectonic plate and fall into the fucking ocean...